You are reading this page for one of three reasons:

  1. You are unfamiliar with the basic concept of fuck chuck marry, in which case we must ask: had you no childhood?
  2. You are type-A rule enthusiast who wants to make sure that you’re following the letter of the law. This game probably isn't for you.
  3. Some type of disagreement has arisen between you and a friend/enemy/peer/coworker/what-have-you, and you're referring to the rules to prove your point, in which case you are most definitely right and that other asshole is most definitely wrong.

The rules:

Ok here we go! The rules of CFM are simple and finite: You will be given three candidates. Of those three, you must choose one to fuck, one to chuck, and one to marry, based on whatever criteria you see fit. This isn't rocket surgery, you guys.

A few things to keep in mind:

  • The Fuck is a one-night stand and only a one-night stand. There is no possibility of further contact and it will most definitely never bloom into a fairy tale romance later down the line … which, really, does it ever?
  • The Marry is an actual marriage in every sense of the word. You will marry this person in front of your friends and family, share your life and marital bed with them, and eventually grow to hate, resent, and become disgusted by them.
  • If the candidate is someone who has died (RIP), make your decision based on the living version of them. Obviously.
  • Consider the optimal version of each candidate, unless otherwise stated.
  • For fictional characters, think of the character, not the actor portraying him/her. This includes personality, wardrobe, and physical appearance.

OK have fun, you crazy kids!